美眉升上五年級囉~星期六學校舉辦親師座談會,這學期換了新老師,了解老師的教學理念是為人父母的責任,想當然爾我們夫妻倆一定聯袂出席囉~ㄟ﹍不過當天家長的出席率還真低耶,勉強只達1/3,看來這班的家長都很放心把孩子教給老師啦!

之前對這位老師沒有特別印象,據說在學校已任教多年,或許教高年級不需要像中年級老師一樣的嚴格,美眉說上了一個星期的課,還沒見過老師發脾氣呢!看來美眉以後有好日子過啦~

親師座談會時,老師一開始就提到,升上五年級最需要注意是孩子的情緒發展,在這個階段同儕之間的互動變得格外重要,建議家長每天要花幾分鐘的時間給孩子,聊聊學校的狀況囉~而在學科方面,不論是中師還是外師,教學經驗都很豐富,聽美眉跟她的好朋友們都說老師上課活潑有趣,她們都不會打哈欠呢~美眉真的很幸運,又遇到好老師了!另外平時多留意時事也是我們需要加強的部分,美眉對於新聞一向被動,這點是我疏忽,因為我很討厭看電視,很少理會國家大事啦~

最後老師強調的還是放手再放手,不過說到放手,當天還是有幾位家長結束後,還忙著幫孩子找忘記帶回家的國語課本,天下父母心,說要放手還真的難囉!

分享老師給我們家長的一篇文章吧!(看到沒,老師已經暗示,成績不好千萬不要去學校幫孩子去要分數囉! )開玩笑的啦,我想,老師要告訴我們的其實是相信老師,相信自己的孩子!

 

老師要告訴家長的其實是......

以下摘譯自201196 CNN upbringing 版,作者為 Ron Clark,原文標題為 What teachers really want to tell parentsRon Clark 曾獲得迪士尼公司頒發「美國最佳教師」,也是歐普拉所挑選出來的「了不起的人物」。

今年夏天,我有幸認識一位優秀的小學校長,某州政府不久前才頒發「最佳小學校長」的獎項給他,而他也實至名歸,因為大家都很擁戴他。但是他竟然要離開教育界了,我驚訝的問他為什麼,他說:「如果有一個學校的學生都是孤兒,你要我去帶,我絕對義不容辭,但是我實在受不了家長了,他們真的是讓我很想死!」

不幸的是,他說出了許多老師的心聲。目前美國的新進教師平均只工作4.5年就離職,而讓他們辭職的一個原因就是因為「受不了家長」。家長對老師的惡意批評愈多,學校就愈難找到優秀的老師。

我們要如何解決這個問題呢?老師要告訴家長的其實是什麼呢?

第一,我們是教育專業人士,不是保母。

我們每天和孩子相處,所以我們會在孩子身上看到家長看不到的東西。如果我們給家長建議,請你們不要和我們對抗,反而應該要試著去接受,就好像你會去聽醫師或律師給你們的建議一樣。現在愈來愈多父母完全不能接受老師對小孩的負面批評,但是如果爸媽願意寬心接受,聽聽我們的說法,那麼現在的小問題以後就不會變成難以解決的大問題。

第二,請信任老師。

有時候我跟父母說小孩子在學校有行為偏差,他們就會用難以置信的眼神看著我,甚至還質問我說:「真的嗎?」廢話,當然是真的,不然我為什麼要跟你講這件事情!請不要還問我有沒有同學可以證實我說的話,或者有沒有其他的老師在場看到這個情況。這些質問只會讓老師和家長之間的合作關係愈來愈薄弱。

第三,不要幫孩子找藉口。

如果你希望孩子以後有成功的機會,就不要一直幫他找藉口。有一次我和一對母子會談,小孩說他還沒開始做暑假的閱讀作業,我說我很失望,因為再兩個禮拜就開學了。結果媽媽就開始幫兒子找藉口,說七月家裡有很多事情,孩子沒空;我說我五月就給作業了,媽媽就說「我希望他暑假好好玩」。

大家評評理,遇到這種狀況,老師怎麼不會抓狂?!

有些家長非常不明理,不管三七二十一就幫孩子找藉口。這些孩子長大之後,他們也只會幫自己找藉口,不懂得職場上的工作倫理。如果你不希望孩子25歲的時候還坐在你家裡的沙發上吃零食、發懶、沒工作,那就不要再幫他們找藉口了!請幫他們找解決方法!

第四、父母要當合作夥伴,不是檢察官。

孩子偶爾犯錯很正常,這是他們學習的一部分,可以學到很寶貴的人生經驗。老師最討厭父母阻撓孩子學習這些人生經驗。我們把這些家長稱為「直升機家長」(helicopter parents),因為他們就像直升機一樣在孩子上方盤旋,孩子一犯錯就降落拯救他們。老師給孩子79分,是因為孩子的作業「值」79分,你們不要安排跟老師會面,要求老師給80分。你覺得是80分,但是79分就是79分!而且,就算孩子都是九十分,不代表他獲得了良好的教育。通常給高分的老師都是爛老師,因為他懶得跟父母打交道。父母不應該說:「你看,我的孩子都九十分,老師教得真好!」

拜託......搞清楚好嗎,通常是好的老師才會給低分,因為他把標準訂得很高。結果現在的父母是看到孩子拿低分就去找校長!

下次去找校長前,父母應該換個角度想:孩子拿到的分數是他們「努力之後獲得」的分數,而你申訴的老師是真正教得好的老師!

而且,父母應該是老師的夥伴,不是檢察官。我班上有個小孩作弊,結果他父母竟然說要找律師告我,因為我在他孩子身上貼上「罪犯」的標籤!現在很多校長說,愈來愈多父母會帶律師去開親師會!

我覺得老師真的很悲哀,現在工作都是如履薄冰,不敢說實話,因為一點點小問題可能會變成大災難。

家母說,有個小孩用麥克筆在自己的臉上畫畫,老師想辦法用抹布把墨水擦掉,結果在臉上留下紅印。小孩的媽打電話給律師,最後那個老師被炒魷魚!

天啊,這麼小的事情都會讓我們失業,誰還敢走教職?如果老師害怕上學、不敢面對家長,那父母就是把學校最好的老師都趕走,也讓有志從事教育的人都打退堂鼓。

最後一點,遇到問題要用正面的方式處理。

如果孩子回家說了什麼讓你們擔心的事情,父母可以找老師,但是應該跟老師說:「孩子說班上發生了這件事情,但我們都知道孩子有時候會誇大其詞,而且事情總是有不同面向,所以我想聽聽老師的說法。」如果你們還是不滿意老師的說法,那可以去找校長,但是千萬不要在孩子面前批評老師,因為如果孩子知道你不尊重老師,他們自然也不會尊重老師。這下子班上會有更多新的問題出現。

老師都知道父母深愛自己的孩子,但我們身為老師也很疼愛孩子。所以我們懇求家長,信任老師,支持老師,站在學校這邊,而不是一味對抗。我們需要父母的支持,也應該獲得應有的尊重。請協助我們,鼓勵我們,讓我們覺得付出有收穫,這樣我們才會竭盡全力,提供更好的教育給孩子!

我身為老師,這是我的承諾。

 

以下為原文:
What teachers really want to tell parents

By Ron Clark, Special to CNN updated 9:12 AM EST, Tue September 6, 2011 

Editor's note: Ron Clark, author of "The End of Molasses Classes: Getting Our Kids Unstuck -- 101 Extraordinary Solutions for Parents and Teachers," has been named "American Teacher of the Year" by Disney and was Oprah Winfrey's pick as her "Phenomenal Man." He founded The Ron Clark Academy, which educators from around the world have visited to learn. 

(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us." 

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges. 

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent. 

Please quit with all the excuses 

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks. 

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete. 

Can you feel my pain?  Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions. 

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+. 

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!" 

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office. 

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education. 

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children. 

Teachers walking on eggshells 

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster. 

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?" 

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner. 

If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems. 

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.  That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

 

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  • 駒尼鐵客 Henry
  • 放手是件難事,真的..不過為了小孩子好,要忍著 唉!
  • 是啊,放手難啊~真的要咬著牙忍著呢~

    艾蜜莉 於 2012/09/14 16:45 回覆

  • 您的暱稱 ...
  • 其實我也是學習放手,但是兒子就是看到我的時間少,所以特別粘尤其是早上,跟爸爸不會有問題,喜歡跟媽媽說話吧!作業常常忘記帶真傷腦筋,不幫他找叫他自己去找,有慢慢的,ㄚ昏倒
  • 放手的拿捏真的考驗父母的智慧與耐心呢~ 一起加油喔!

    艾蜜莉 於 2014/12/22 23:23 回覆

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